Thursday, January 26, 2012

Living Small

or Paying the Price

I shouldn't have taken the day trip, really, but with Martin Luther King Day off last week and a sky full of fast-moving clouds, the call of the road was too much.  I like my little townhouse and love my little garden, but oh, do I get tired of looking at walls.  I wanted to remember big things—skies that soar without hindrance and landscapes that stretch to the ends of the compass rose.  Instead of contorting over a macro of some tiny leaf or stem, I wanted to stand straight and tall while taking a photograph—a photo of something on the distant horizon, with the camera's focus set to infinity.

El Malpais National Monument

It was a great idea so far as it went, but January isn't a sensible month for day trips.  It's the busiest time at work, when my gentle, low-stress job suddenly turns into a free-for-all of legal forms and number crunching.  Every meager bit of energy I have is needed to outlast it.  The day off should have been spent on the sofa, recruiting my strength with sustaining broths and weak tea and toast.  And maybe a tincture of something.  Doesn't that sound sustaining?  Instead I went on a quest for the wild blue yonder and am paying the price,  remembering why living small is a...let's not say good, but a wise thing for someone with CFS. 

All to say, I probably won't be around much in blogland for a little while longer.  I have that every-cell-of-my-body-lugging-25-pounds-of-lead-weights feeling and am a cognitive mess to boot, and still have to finish the month at work with some semblance of adequacy.  If you can remember where I left my keys or my glasses—or the refrigerator, for that matter—kindly let me know.   (Was there a logical connection between those two sentences?  And if so, how?)

A snow squall blows through El Malpais
At least the trip was worth it...

42 comments:

  1. Rest up and recuperate. You took some beautiful pics on your trip. And made some wonderful memories, I'm sure. I hope your job settles down soon. End of year is not fun for any business. Take care of yourself.

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    1. Thanks, Holley--it's amazing how things at work come to a wonderful, screeching halt on February 1. Thanks for the Versatile Blogger award, too! I appreciate your thinking of me for it, among your many legions of fans.

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  2. Lovely view of infinity to restore the cabin fevered soul. We'll be here when you come back to your blog.

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    1. It really was delightful to be able to look far into the distance for a little while. I seem to be almost back in action again...

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  3. I hope the time out under the big wide sky was sustaining to your spirit, if not body. May your strength return sooner than expected! And oh, how good that NM landscape looks from here.

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    1. Thanks so much, Zoe. The drive out there was absolutely gorgeous and worth a few knocks afterwards. There was still snow on the ground from a late-December storm that brought out all the shapes and textures. For some reason, though, this year I've been thinking how good an eastern landscape would look...

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  4. I worry a little when I don't see your regular Sunday and Thursday posts. Hope you feel better soon and there is some time for renewal in the future.

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    1. That's really sweet of you, GirlSprout. Thank you. I have the next week off to reset the stops (hooray!). If the sun cooperates I intend to spend every morning being comfy in the Adirondack chair with a nice, steaming cuppa.

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  5. Hope you find your refrigerator (!) soon.... And take care!

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    1. Thanks, Kathy. Turns out it was in the kitchen all along. Go figure!

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  6. Sometimes i need to get off my knees and photograph the clouds just for the contrast. Be kind to yourself, Stacy. Look forward to reading your blog again when you're feeling better.

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    1. Janet, that contrast is a very good thing. Not to mention being easier on the blue jeans and the back, too.

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  7. Like Janet says, when you've had your nose pressed up against a crocus flower it can be a little disconcerting to stand up, re-focus and see mighty oaks on the horizon and huge billowing clouds against deep blue. Makes me jump sometimes. Don't know where your keys are I'm afraid, but your glasses were on top of the book on the coffee table. Take it easy

    Dave

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    1. Dave, in a kind of roundabout way what you say about re-focusing reminded me of the mouse-over text from an xkcd comic: "Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit." You were so right about the glasses.

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  8. We all must rest and recuperate from our lives from time to time...best to heed the call...the pictures are stunning and I so see why you went...feel better and we will see you when you return...be well!

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    1. Thanks for the good wishes, Donna. Yes, it's always best to pay attention when your body tells you it's time to rest! One of those lessons we often learn the hard way...

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  9. Stacy, sending you warm wishes from across the oceans. Your usual focus on the small things is an inspiration to me every time I visit your blog - but I can understand the occasional wish to stand tall and breathe in all of New Mexico...

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    1. Jill, thank you so much. You're always surrounded by so many intriguing, spectacular, world-class gardens--it means a lot to know that the small things can still inspire, too.

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  10. Stacy - Wish this blog was your job ... looking forward to reading your next post.

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    1. You're so kind, b-a-g! Gosh, I'd love it if this were my job.

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  11. Sending good juju your way from Charlottesville, Stacy. I really, REALLY hope you're feeling better.

    Steve

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    1. Steve, thanks so much for the good juju! I appreciate the good wishes--that's really, REALLY sweet of you. This is kind of an odd post to "welcome" you to, but welcome. All my best to Charlottesville--I have a couple of old friends there.

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  12. Stacy, I hope you get through the rough patch and feel much better soon. I don't know if you've seen the Versatile Blogger award going around (or perhaps have already been so honored). Anyway, I've named you as one of my "versatile bloggrs." You can learn more here: http://jeansgarden.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/versatility/

    No Pressure on this; I am not offended at all if people choose to ignore these awards. -Jean

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    1. Jean, thanks so much for the award and for the kind words that went with it. I really appreciate your thinking of me amid all the other wonderful blogs out there.

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  13. I have also been away a while. Surgery and PT have left me with nothing to offer and no energy to do it. I so understand and feel for you!

    Praying you will recover quickly and that you will be back to "yourself" soon. Living small is an excellent way to describe our lives at times.

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    1. Elaine, it's great to hear from you! I'm sorry the PT has been so rough--hope your knee is improving, though, and the surgery accomplished what it was supposed to.

      Thanks for the good wishes--I'm able to think again, and that's always the first good sign.

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  14. So glad you got to go on a little trip. While the body may not like it much they are necessary for the soul. I got cabin fever bad this week. Hubs took me up to the farm so I could pick up some raw milk. Loved the trip. Loved being out of the house. Almost fell asleep on the trip home. Body is being pissy but my head is happy. Have a good rest. See you when you get back.

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    1. Baffled, I agree--getting out, out, OUT is really necessary. Glad you made it out to the farm. It doesn't actually take much to be refreshing.

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  15. I just found your blog through Anxious Gardener. I have CFS too, though I tend not to talk about it much on my blog. I've learnt, over the years of trying to manage CFS, that sometimes something is worth the price in terms of health donwnturn just for that boost to the spirits and glimpse of something "more" again. As long as it doesn't plunge you into depression for not being able to do it whenever you want! I hope those huge skies were worth it for you, and that seeing the photos helps you get through the next period of losing the fridge etc.

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    1. Janet, thanks so much for stopping by. I do recall seeing that lovely yellow-orange flower over at Dave's blog, too. Yes, the boost to the spirits is really worth a lot. This excursion was maybe not the wisest, as I knew I had a lot on my plate, but now that it's after the fact I may as well enjoy having been...

      The fridge seems to have returned to its normal place all on its own--always a good sign.

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  16. The view is gorgeous! I hope that you make it through the next couple months of heavy-duty work with ease. :)

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    1. Jen, New Mexico does scenery pretty well. (And I usually ignore the ugly parts.) Thanks for the good wishes, and thanks for visiting!

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  17. Rest up, but I wanted to let you know: I am awarding you the Versatile Blogger award. You can read more about it at my post here: http://dreamingofroses.blogspot.com/2012/01/1-blooms.html I hope you will accept it and have fun passing it on to others. Congratulations! :) And I see Jean has already bestowed this award on you. Well, you are now doubly honored!

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    1. Thanks, Holley--wow, I'm just basking in honors here!

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  18. Stacy, I, too, am awarding you the Versatile Blogger award. See http://greenplace-chapelhill.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-thought-id-share-favorite-photograph.html. Now you are triply honored!

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    1. Sheila, thank you! Wow, I'm going to have to get an agent here pretty soon. Thanks for thinking of me for the award.

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  19. I like that idea of stepping out and opening up the chest and taking a breath to breathe in the vastness of our surroundings. Wonderful and inspiring post! I must take a day and do the same...

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    1. Nothing restores your perspective like a long-distance, open view under big skies. Hope you do get out and about, Michelle.

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  20. Stacy, I was looking to see when's your next one--I am glad you are there, a trip was a wonderful idea, pay the price, don't worry too much--as usual, the writing style is so witty, thanks! Take good care, dear!!
    Hugs, Ronit

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    1. Hi, Ronit! Thanks--I'm spoiling myself this week with relaxation and should be up and...not running, exactly--maybe moseying? again soon.
      Hugs right back atcha!

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  21. So sorry to hear about your trouble. I'm glad the worst of your work crunch is now behind you and I hope you'll be up to continued moseying soon. Thanks for sharing this lovely landscape photo with us. Gorgeous and inspiring!

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    1. Thank you, Aimee--I'm beginning to get back in stride. I'm so glad you stopped by!

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